Sirius
by Your Kidney
Summary: It's the summer after fifth year, the summer after Sirius's death. Harry's depressed over everything. He doesn't want to eat, doesn't want to talk, but...somehow his aunt changes that. Sirius returns! DISCONTINUED
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One of Sirius

_Down in the Department of Mysteries, the black, torn veil fluttered. There was a loud scream, the sound of someone in deathly pain. And then with one more twitch, the dark cloth sent a human out from between the arches. He stood up, and looked around. And then set off at a dead run._

I woke up with a start, not surprised at the dream. I had been getting them constantly lately. There was something strangely familiar about that. _But why do I keep having dreams about the veil? Does my mind want to torture me further with the fact that I just about killed Sirius?_

Sorrow clenched my heart, squeezing, and not letting go. Tears filled my eyes, threatening to fall, but I blinked them away. I curled up on my bed, trying to wash away the feeling of helplessness. _It was all my fault. It was all my fault that I didn't use the mirrors when I could have. If I had, Sirius wouldn't be dead. I wouldn't have killed him! _The tears that had earlier wanted to fall, did, as I remembered how fondly Sirius had spoken of the times he and my father talked through those mirrors during detentions. How everyone at school dreaded being the object of their pranks, but loved to watch them being pulled. In a way, it was a happy feeling, but…I also dreaded thinking of my godfather.

I tried to conjure up a picture of him, but…the only one that came to mind was the one of when he was falling to his death. The look of shock and horror, and of hate. I would often wake up crying his name after having a replay nightmare of that time. I was scared that the loathing crossing his face was directed at me, instead of his cousin.

_That horrible, idiot, murdering cousin of his! I'll kill her, if it's the last thing I do. And it probably would, seeing as she's one of Voldemort's top murderers. But I won't mind going down as long as she does too. I'd at least be able to see Sirius again._

I stood up, and glanced at my reflection in the mirror. _I look like shit._ My face was red from crying, and my eyes had dark circles under them from lack of sleep. I could almost pass as someone just let out of Azkaban. Azkaban. And Sirius just got his name cleared after he died. _I wish he hadn't escaped just to come after me, because then he still might've been alive. And then we could've cleared his name once we found Pettigrew. And he wouldn't have died._ I doubled over in sobs again. Tears streaming like a waterfall down my face.

There was a knock on the door and Aunt Petunia stuck her face in. 'It's breakfast time.' I tried to hide my face from her, as I collapsed onto my bed again. 'I don't want any.' My voice broke, and I started weeping all over again.

'What's wrong?'

'Like I'd tell you! You'll just find some way to rub it back in my face. You'd throw me out of the house after you'd learned what I'd done.'

My aunt came and sat down on the edge of my bed.

'I'd never throw you out. It was your uncle who was scared senseless of your kind. I never minded them. He forced me to work you hard no matter what. He always kept tabs on me to make sure I was never nice. Trust me. It hurt. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, because I know I've been the worst ever possible, but if you need someone to talk to, I'm always here.'

I looked up in wonder at the face above me. Her normally screaming and annoyed face was soft and kind. I sighed. 'I guess I can tell you. It won't hurt. Did you ever hear of Sirius Black?'

'Wasn't he that escaped convict a couple years back?'

'Yes. He escaped from Azkaban, the wizard prison. He was jailed for the murder of thirteen people, which he didn't do. It was his school friend, Peter Pettigrew who betrayed him for the dark side. Well, in my third year, he escaped to find me. Everyone thought he was coming to find me to kill me, but he really had come to kill my friend's rat, Scabbers, who was Peter Pettigrew in disguise. We became friends, and I found out he was my dad's best friend, and my godfather. And then last year, I had a dream that showed him in the Department of Mysteries, a place in the wizarding world. I thought the dream was true, and I went there. He really wasn't there, and he found out, and followed me to make sure I wouldn't get hurt. I didn't get physically hurt, but he-he…died there, practically killing me too, mentally.'

'Your dad's best friend? His best man? He's dead?'

'You knew him?'

'I went to your parents wedding, and met him there. We became friends a bit. I'll miss him, though not as much as you, as I had only seen him once.'

I gaped through my tears at my aunt. Here was someone alive that could tell me about Sirius.

'I-I well…can you keep a secret?'

'I'll try. I want to try to do something for you after I've been so mean before.'

'I-I…I think that I…' I paused. Was I really going to tell her that I loved Sirius? I had found out the summer before my fifth year. I had been strangely drawn to him and fully accepted it during Christmas break. I was in love.

'What is it?'

I decided I'd tell her. I wanted her trust, and I wanted her to know that I forgave her. After all, Uncle Vernon is very intimidating. 'I…think I…was in love with him.'

Aunt Petunia gave a gasp and tears filled her eyes. 'I'm so sorry, my poor boy. To lose a loved one. I…I guess I didn't know how much you cared for him, I was wondering why you were beating yourself up so much.' She engulfed me in a hug that could rival Mrs. Weasely's or Hermione's.

'I'm glad you understand, and all. I…I never told my friends or anything, because they might think it was wrong and abandon me.'

'It is kind of strange, though, he is your godfather, and is old enough to be your dad. But I'll try to be supportive, since I never got to be before.'

'Well…thanks. But…why are you suddenly helping me?'

'Y-you came home, and…you were so helpless. You gave into Vernon's torture, and you didn't lift a hand against him. He teased you, made rude comments about your family, and yet you never got mad. You just moped around, broken. I-I just wanted to know what was wrong.' My aunt burst into tears, and hugged me tightly again. She stroked back my hair from my forehead and looked into my face. 'You are the exact image of your father, but-'

'But with my mother's eyes. You don't know how many times I hear that.'

'But that doesn't change the fact that it's true.'

I laughed lightly. My god. This house has completely changed. I'm actually laughing. But how can I laugh after what…I…did?

'So…how about some breakfast?' asked my aunt.

'…Okay. I suppose so. But…will you be horrible to me again?'

'I have to. Or else Vernon will kill me. And I mean it, he will kill me. He hates you!'

I sighed. 'I'll come down.' _For you, Sirius, I'll not starve myself. I'll not die. For you, I'll live._ My heart clenched at the promise I just made. There was no point in staying alive, really. Not when he was dead. I was only a pawn in the war. Bred for a single purpose: to kill the Dark Lord.

A couple minutes after my aunt left, I peeled myself from my bed and plodded down to breakfast. The smell of freshly toasted bread wafted up. Hopefully I'm not too late. Dudley probably ate it all. But he hadn't. He was still in bed, asleep. I grabbed three pieces of toast, and left to go outside. It was the only place I could feel alone and peaceful. The only place I could mourn for Sirius in peace.

I miss you so much. I wish I could've told you…just how much I…loved you…before you …left…

**Reposted, because the italics didn't work in the original update. Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

Sirius

Chapter Two

When I got back to the house, there was an owl waiting for me, a letter attached to its leg, pecking at anybody who tried to reach it. I think I saw its eyes light up when he saw me, or maybe it was just my imagination.

The note read:

_Dear Harry, I'm going to be picking you up from the Dursleys tomorrow at noon._

_Moony_

My face split into a wide grin. _Finally, I get to break _free_ of this hellhole!_ 'I'm leaving tomorrow,' I announced.

My uncle looked ready to blow. 'You can't decide anything like that!'

I grimly smiled. 'Please. Messing with werewolves are like playing with fire. Moony won't be happy.'

He paled. 'Th-this person who's coming, he's a werewolf?'

A laugh escaped my lips. 'and best friends with Sirius Black. The escaped convict. Remember him?' My heart lurched at the mention of my godfather, and the fact that I was using his name to get out of here.

Aunt Petunia looked at me as if to say "Isn't he dead, though?"

I silenced her with a glare. My uncle spluttered, and finally gave in. I gave a whoop and jumped high into the air.

The doorbell suddenly rang and I sobered up, wondering who it was.

'Boy! Go get it!' Uncle Vernon shouted at me. I stood up to do so, but Aunt Petunia stopped me.

'I'll do it,' she quietly said. I secretly nodded my thanks.

The door opened, and a shriek was heard throughout the house. I jumped up, followed by my uncle and cousin to the doorway.

There stood a tall, dark haired man, pale face, and brown eyes that were sunken and dulled with intense pain. I just stood there, blinking, while my aunt stuttered 'B-but…Harry, didn't you say…aren't…isn't he _dead?_'

What I was seeing finally sank in, and I whispered, just aloud to be heard. 'You're not real, you can't be. You're just a Death Eater's illusion, or something come back to haunt me, rubbing it in my face that I KILLED YOU!' The last two words were shrieked loudly, and I slammed the door. I could feel my eyes prickling, and hot tears threatened to fall.

I slumped down, back to the wall, eyes looking towards the ceiling. 'Why, God?' I asked to nobody in particular, letting the thick barrier around my feelings collapse, sobbing. 'I know I killed Siri, but does that mean I have to be haunted by him, too? Why am I punished like this!' My aunt, uncle and cousin watched frightfully from the side, all too scared to do anything. Nobody took much notice when the dark-haired man acme in again. He lightly wrapped his arms around me, murmuring into my ear.

I wish with my whole heart that I could forever stay there, always secure. Suddenly, I realized that I was in the arms of the person I loved, but had no idea if it was really him.

I jumped to my feet, whipping tears away from my face. 'What proof do you have that it's you! How can you persuade me to believe you?'

'Harry…' whispered Sirius. 'It's me. I swear it is… I promise…'

'Don't "Harry" me. Tell me something only I'd know, or something like that!'

Sirius nodded and morphed into Padfoot. He walked over to me, sniffing my hand, then giving it a small lick. When my godfather changed back, he was standing right in front of me. '"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good,"' he whispered into my ear, hand resting on the back of my neck.

I nodded and threw my arms around the dark haired man. 'I'm sorry I ever doubted it was you.' My voice was choked up. 'I'm sorry…'

'Ssh, it's all right. You thought I was dead, and then I suddenly appeared back again. It's me, I swear, and everything will work out.' Sirius's hands rubbed my back to soothe my frantic sobbing, tears freely running down his face, too.

'We're making a scene here,' I said after a couple minutes. 'Let's go up to my room, or something.' He nodded, and we walked by the still dumb struck Dursleys and up the stairs to my room.

'How?' I asked. The two of us sat on my bed with our back to the wall, one of my godfather's arms still around me, holding me tight against him.

'I don't know. All I remember was passing through the veil, and it hurt as much as ten Crucios hitting me at the same time, and then I was in the afterworld. Oh, and Harry, your parents wanted me to tell you that they're very proud of you and love you very much.'

At those words, more tears broke free and crept down without a sound.

'I felt something tugging at me, sort of like a rope, and I was forced back through the veil, which was ten times worse than going through.'

Unconsciously I burrowed closer, looking up to the face of my godfather. Pain was written all across his face, an intense physical pain. An aftermath of the veil, or something.

'I missed you so much, Siri. Oh, and…Remus is coming to pick me up tomorrow at noon. Wants to take me back.' With that, I drifted off to sleep, exhausted from crying ever since I got back from school. There was a contented smile on my face, and I missed the one on Sirius's as he fell asleep too.

Thank you everyone who reviewed or read it or added this story to their C2. You have no idea how much it means to me, and it is a great honor, honestly. Thanks and I love you guys very much! Sorry that's it's been a while since I posted my first chapter. The third one'll probably take quite a long time before it's up, since I haven't written it yet, and I don't really know what to do for it. I have a general idea, but… I don't know. Please review!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Sirius

I woke up, still in the arms of my godfather, who was asleep with his back to the wall. I snuggled closer, wanting to stay there for as long as I could, bathing in the warmth and comfort that he emitted.

Too soon he stirred, blearily opening his eyes. 'What time is it?' he muttered sleepily, and retracted an arm to rub at his face.

'Eleven. Moony's going to be here in an hour, so I should get packed soon…' With a resigned sigh I dragged myself up from my bed and pulled a suitcase out from under it. Everything that I was going to need for the school year got thrown into it: Broom, clothing, quills, parchment, textbooks, owl treats and random odds and ends. Ten minutes later it was full, latched and at the foot of the stairs.

Sirius and I walked into the kitchen, stomachs grumbling at the want of food.

'There you two are!' said Aunt Petunia at the sight of us. Vernon and Dudley were still asleep, which gave the three of us leeway to eat as much as we wanted without interference from the ones most prone to kill us at a moment's notice.

Petunia bit at her lip as if wanting to ask a question, but not knowing how I'd respond. 'D-do you think I'd be able to come with you back to Hogwarts? If Vernon sees that I'm not treating you horribly anymore, I might not be around to greet you once you come back home for the summer. Besides, I always wanted to see Hogwarts, and I never got the chance to spoil you properly.'

I smiled. 'Of course you can come with me.'

My aunt burst into a grin and ran up to me to hug me tightly. 'Thank you, thank you so much!' she exclaimed, and then added in a whisper, 'I wish you the best of luck with him.'

A blush burst over my face. 'Aunt!'

The doorbell rang just as Dudley and Vernon were walking downstairs, and lunch was being served.

'That must be Remus!' I jumped up and ran to open the door. My older friend stood there, ragged and unkempt. Gray was the prominent color in his hair, and wrinkles adorned his face. 'You look like shit, mate!' I said, tears prickling my eyes at the state of the ex-Defense teacher. He smiled sadly and enveloped me in a hug. 'Come on, there's somebody who wants to see you.' I led him into where everyone was sitting, my uncle and cousin glaring daggers at the shaggy, black dog who sat on the linoleum.

Remus gasped and a hand flew to his mouth.

'Yes, it's really him. He's come back from behind the veil.' I gently pushed his back towards his best friend. 'Go on. I know you missed him just as much, or more than, me.'

Lupin slowly stepped towards Sirius, who was now back in human form, scared that it was a dream or illusion, openly crying. 'How?' he asked. Padfoot shrugged, which seemed to convince Remus of the true reality, who threw himself on him. 'I can't believe it. Dear lord, thank you so much!' he muttered into his ragged jacket.

I watched from the side, glad that two of the most important people in my life were reunited. 'Would you like to stay for a bit to eat before we leave?' I asked.

'That would be lovely.' ( **I love it when people say that! **) He sat down, wiped tears from his eyes and took a plate to heap with beans, vegetables, rice and beef. ( **Ew. Meat. Yuck. (Vegetarian, here)** )

'When did you get here?' Remus asked of Sirius once everyone was done. (Vernon and Dudley had gone to watch TV).

'Yesterday, around five. I don't know how I got through the veil, but it hurt like hell. Immediately after, once I somehow got out of the Ministry of Magic without anyone noticing, I came here.' He threw his hands up in the air. 'Maybe Dumbledore'll have an idea.'

'Speaking of that, we should be leaving soon.' Remus stood up from the table and brought his dishes to the sink.

'Oh yeah, Petunia's coming too.' At his questioning expression, I elaborated. 'She helped me out a couple days back, and doesn't want to be hurt by Vernon.'

'I'm going go raid the safe so I'll have some money and they'll be broke,' she said in a whisper quiet enough for Dudley and Vernon to not hear. 'Be back in a moment.'

I took this as an opportune chance to get my suitcase, which lay a few meters away. '_I'm_ all ready. Everyone else, once Petunia's back?'

'Yep.'

'Uh-huh.'

'Yes.' My mother's sister calmly walked up, a large bundle of cash tucked in a purse that hung over her shoulder. Remus placed the disillusionment charm on all four of us and took out a black shirt as a portkey. My laughter as we disappeared brought upon my uncle and cousin's attention. They watched with wide eyes as barely visible beings vanished before them.

The wind was knocked out of me when I landed hard on my back in a pile of trash down a back alley. Sirius lay directly on top of me, staring into my eyes. The breath caught in my throat, and, involuntarily, my hand found his and I slowly entwined our fingers. The world froze around us for a couple moments before my godfather blushed and climbed off, muttering a soft apology.

My aunt offered me a hand to help me up, which I accepted. 'You're getting there,' she quietly said to me, amusement thickly lacing her voice.

'How do I know, though?' I whispered back.

She wrapped a single arm around my shoulder and leaned in to my ear. 'You might not, but I do!'

'Can we please go?' Remus asked impatiently.

'Oh, be quiet!' Petunia admonished. 'We're having a girl-to-girl talk here!'

I laughed and ducked her head out of her semi-embrace. 'How far is Grimmauld Place from where we are?'

**Finally, an update! I'm so sorry that it took so long, but I have so many stories going on and I just never got around to typing this up. I hope you enjoy, and I'll try to post the next one quicker! (Hint, it might help if you review!)  Love you all!**


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